


Borrowed Sweater

by philophrosynae



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Fluff, Human AU, M/M, Mutual Pining, Red String of Fate, Rivals to Lovers, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:46:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23863249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/philophrosynae/pseuds/philophrosynae
Summary: Prompt: half dressedBut before Alfred could slide out of his arms in embarrassment, Ivan leaned down and pressed their lips together.  After all, they had already gone too far for him to waste an opportunity now.  He would worry about the inevitable fallout later.Because now, today, in his kitchen, Alfred was kissing him back.
Relationships: America/Russia (Hetalia)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 204





	Borrowed Sweater

He really wasn’t surprised that Alfred had chosen the sweater that he did. Bright red with stars on the shoulders and a familiar Cyrillic script across the front. He knew the choice was deliberate, a game. When he had said, “take anything from the closet,” he should have known that Alfred would manage to find Ivan’s favorite worn hockey sweater in the back. Ivan dug his nails briefly into the towel in his hand before relaxing, a pleasant smile spreading across his face. 

“Better?” he asked.

“Yeah!” Alfred chirped as he shook the remaining dampness from his hair onto Ivan’s kitchen floor.

Ivan twitched but Alfred didn’t notice.

They had gotten caught in a cold December rainstorm on their way to an off-site meeting. A meeting that had apparently been cancelled some time before they arrived. Unfortunately, neither of them had seen the email until it was too late and so they dripped rather sadly in the darkened lobby. Seeing the Alfred’s shiver as the water seeped through his lab coat and tie, Ivan took pity on his coworker.

“My place is close if you want to dry off?”

Alfred had cut off his self-pitying ramble midstream with a delighted “really?” and they had run quickly to Ivan’s quiet little house. He had known Alfred since college, graduating together with the same degree and nearly identical GPAs. They'd then gotten the same job sitting side by side with embarrassingly similar resumes. It hadn’t been intentional. Alfred had shrieked at Ivan, accusing him of stalking him at their first day of orientation before realizing their new boss was giving them a very strange look. The truth was that they had simply fallen into a strange routine of running into each other by accident or coincidence ever since the first day of _NUC E 301: Fundamentals of Reactor Physics_. 

The narrator in a romantic comedy would have called it _fate_. After all, fate had thrown Ivan into that university in the first place. He had never thought he would be able to go to college at all. He had worked for a few years at his family’s business before the scholarship opportunity to study abroad caught his eye. Then he had started off with a different major in mind before an attentive professor steered him into nuclear engineering. There he met Alfred, who was a few years younger and a few decibels louder and constantly by his side. 

Alfred hopped up to sit on Ivan’s kitchen counter, kicking his legs back and forth after settling in. The gold printing on the sweater was catching the light of the late afternoon sun as he moved. Ivan pretended to ignore him, turning and using the towel he had grabbed earlier to dry off his hair. 

“If I’m up here, we’re eye-level,” Alfred explained from behind him. “You have a nice place!”

“Thank you.”

“Is it just you?” 

Ivan could hear the soft creaks as Alfred opened and closed the cabinets near his head, admiring his stemware and mugs with no regards for Ivan’s privacy. Ivan shifted his weight from one foot to the other in agitation. He was already regretting inviting Alfred over. His scarf felt tight against his throat. He blamed his sour mood on the weather.

“Living here? Yes.”

“Oh, I’d have thought you would’ve gotten a pet or something.”

“No.”

“Have people over often?”

“No,” he shook out the towel he was holding just to have something to do with his hands. “Why are you asking?”

“Small talk. Normally people make small talk, Braginsky.”

Ivan turned, the other was averting his eyes and pretending to inspect the hem of his sweater. He looked as uncomfortable as Ivan felt. It was odd to think, but Ivan realized he hadn’t seen him in casual clothes since they had graduated. Even then, he had mostly seen him in class and in the labs. A few awkward parties aside, their social circles didn’t really overlap. The closest they had come to spending free time together was the long trudge through summer heat or winter snow from the labs to their dorms. 

Alfred had always needed to borrow Ivan’s gloves when it snowed. 

Ivan’s begrudging admiration of his rival had developed into an inconvenient, one-sided crush. Thankfully, he had managed to keep that bit a secret. At least he assumed it was still a secret. Alfred had never commented and his friendly-rivalry teasing remained a constant. Alfred always did enjoy pushing Ivan’s buttons. 

They sometimes ate lunch together, which was a fleeting substitute for what Ivan really wanted. Which would be lunch together always, plus dinner, and breakfast and everything in between. He had gotten used to having Alfred at his side and the thought that he would eventually drift to someone else was a constant nagging worry. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t both dated other people in university, but Ivan had struggled to hide his secret thrill every time Alfred changed his relationship status back to “single.”

Ivan wasn’t sure how to describe their relationship. They weren’t really friends, at least not in the traditional sense. But they were also far more than coworkers. “Rivals” seemed too dramatic. “Partners” had romantic connotations that made Ivan stutter but… 

_Be mine, stay with me._

The sleeves of his shirt were too long for Alfred, hanging past his thumbs as Alfred’s attention wandered from his hem to his rain-smeared glasses. He appeared to contemplate wiping them on Ivan’s sweater before looking up at him with a sheepish grin instead. Ivan handed him another towel as, despite himself, he tried to think of excuses for Alfred to stay. 

“Did you want something to drink? Tea or coffee or—”

“Hot chocolate?” Alfred asked. 

“I think I can make some.”

“Yes!”

Ivan flushed at Alfred’s enthusiasm but cooled it down with a frown. He pushed Alfred’s head gently to the side so as to reach the cabinets behind him, resulting in an amused giggle. Snatching two mismatched mugs at random before Alfred’s laughter distracted him further, he marched over to the pantry for the chocolate. A soft thunk announced Alfred had slid off the counter to follow him. 

“Do you have marshmallows?”

“Maybe. They would be over there.”

Ivan heard him patter away to the shelves he had indicated before a triumphant _“aha!_ ” announced his too quick return. A part of Ivan had hoped Alfred would linger in the wrong spot long enough for him to catch his breath. He was feeling too warm, the exhaustion and annoyance from work mixing with the heavy weight of nostalgia on his chest. 

“They’re the big ones but it’ll work. We should make s’mores at the lab sometime. We can use the microwave. Lili would help.”

Alfred had wedged himself up against Ivan’s side by the stove without any regards to his personal space or boundaries. It was a very Alfred thing to do. This was probably another game of his, but Ivan wasn’t quite able to figure out the goal. Normally Ivan would push back, make a comment about how Alfred was following him around the kitchen like a lost puppy, just to watch Alfred wrinkle his nose as he said “ _am not_.”

But Ivan was too tired to think about motives and games today, so he instead stirred chocolate into milk a little too aggressively to pretend he didn’t enjoy their proximity. His kitchen smelled sweet; cloying chocolate and marshmallows perfumed the cold winter air.

“Do you still play?” Alfred asked out of the blue.

“Play? Play what?”

“Hockey.” 

He gestured towards his borrowed sweater for emphasis. 

“Not so much anymore.”

“Oh… You were good in college.”

“…thank you?”

Ivan paused, wary of any compliment that came from Alfred. He frowned long enough for Alfred to realize he had said something unusual. 

“Not that I was watching!”

“I know. Matthew.”

“Yeah!”

Alfred smiled and began rambling on about games long past. He had gone to every one of them. Alfred’s brother had started off as a soft spoken freshman whose skill (and surprising aggression) on the ice had led to him being captain by their third year. Ivan likely would have begrudged the loss of the coveted title more if Matthew’s presence hadn’t guaranteed Alfred would be in one of the seats behind their bench at every game. Alfred’s eyes on the ice had made the back of his neck tingle with more than just adrenaline. 

His longing had been sharper then. A hot pain that he tried to ignore. But fantasies had snuck in before he could shut them out completely. After practice daydreams of shoving Alfred against the wall of the locker room showers and kissing his neck until his knees went weak. Of pushing him into the snow on their way home and ripping open his coat to touch the warm skin underneath. Half formed plans of nudging Alfred into a quiet corner after everyone else had left the lab and reaching into his pants to palm his erection. Dreams of Alfred moaning wantonly into his touch. Wishing he had been brave enough to push his mouth against Alfred’s while they were just students, if only to see what would happen. Just to see Alfred reacting to Ivan. Just to remember the taste of Alfred’s lips.

Ivan forced his expression neutral as he poured their hot drinks into mugs that were steadied on the counter by Alfred’s familiar hands. 

“Ice skating,” Ivan said, recognizing that it was his turn to attempt conversation. 

“Hmm?”

“I don’t— I don’t play hockey much anymore,” Ivan touched lightly at his crooked clavicle, the old fracture the result of a shoulder to the back that had thrown him into the boards. “But I go ice skating. It’s nice.”

“Ah! At the outdoor rink near the mall?”

“Usually.”

Ivan cleared his throat, at a loss of how to continue the conversation. Small talk really wasn’t his strong point. He had a tendency to say too much of what was on his mind. What was on his mind tended to drive people away. The loose sleeves of Alfred’s borrowed sweater brushed against Ivan’s hands as he claimed one of the mugs. Ivan snuck a glance at the other’s soft smile as he held the mug up to his face to blow at the steam. 

“Matty and I sometimes go there to skate. I’ve never seen you though.”

“I go early in the morning.”

“Alone?”

“Normally.”

“Too lonely!” 

“That _is_ what ‘alone’ means.”

“Text me next time,” Alfred said, ignoring Ivan’s comment. “We can meet up. Matty can come too.”

Ivan smiled back and hummed noncommittally. The invitation was too good to be true so he trampled the hopeful flutter catching his throat before it became too difficult to breathe. As much as he wished it weren’t so, Alfred was friendly with everyone. An invitation to spend time together wasn’t special. He had done the same thing countless times in the past. 

_“Since we’re both late, let’s walk back together.”_

_“Are you going to Francine’s going away party? I am! Let’s go together.”_

_“You’re on lunch break too? What’d you bring? Let’s share.”_

Little comments that would have been much more special if Alfred hadn’t always turned and repeated them to the next person who walked into the room. Now, as always, Alfred was likely just talking to fill the void. While a date with Alfred was exactly what he wanted, playing third wheel to the twins’ games sounded too awkward to be enjoyable. 

He peeked a glance at Alfred to gauge his reaction to his muted enthusiasm. The other was poking at the marshmallows in his drink, submerging them in the chocolate before allowing them to pop back up to the top. Despite their size, he had managed to cram three of them into the mug. 

“You don’t like it?” Ivan asked. 

“Oh! No, I do!”

Alfred raised it too quickly to his face, causing his glasses to fog up with steam, and took a theatrically long gulp. Ivan turned away to hide his amusement and took a step back while the other was distracted. They were on safer ground. Alfred was still standing too closely and wearing Ivan’s clothing, but the awkward nagging affection had stopped. Alfred’s pushing had stopped. Ivan took a slow breath to keep himself from shoving back.

It was muted now, dampened with familiarity, but Ivan still felt the tingle with Alfred’s teasing presence. The sound of his footsteps as he walked behind Ivan’s desk towards the printer. His jarringly loud laugh across the room while he joked with the receptionist. Even finding Alfred’s lunch had been put next to his own in the cafeteria refrigerator gave him pause. 

What had changed more were Ivan’s daydreams. Instead of dreaming Alfred would ever return his affections, he found it simpler to keep things as they were. He didn’t just want to see Alfred react, he wanted him to stay. Their current relationship was better than Alfred leaving in disgust.

“Thanks for having me over,” Alfred said.

“Of course.”

“Did you want to… um?”

“What?” Ivan tilted his head, genuinely confused. 

“Nothing, never mind.”

Alfred shook his head firmly enough to make his blond bangs sway out of place. They were now in his eyes. Ivan wished he were in a position to push them out of the way but he stood his ground, feeling more awkward than ever.

Longing ached. It had settled firmly in unexpected places - the back of his jaw when he clenched it too tightly, the empty curve of his palm, the tense aborted flutter in his chest and heavy weight in his stomach every time he left the office alone.

But truly, it was easier this way. No awkward morning afters. No worries about what would be said at work, or who would find out. Just the occasional tingle at the back of his neck to remind him he was in —

And Alfred was talking again. Something about the weather then conversation about work. Nothing heavy or difficult so Ivan’s mind wandered as he nodded in the appropriate places. Normally he would have teased Alfred for rambling but today he was too tired. Something was off, his thoughts hazy and nostalgic. Ivan wondered if he was getting sick or if his long night was to blame. His shoulders ached with an invisible weight. 

He wanted to ask Alfred to stay for dinner. The sleeves of his sweater were sliding down Alfred’s wrists as he held the mug up to his face with each sip. His wrists looked deceptively slim against the oversized clothing. Alfred had given up on his glasses, dropping them on Ivan’s countertop, apparently preferring slightly blurry to completely foggy vision. For all his chattering, he looked almost at home in Ivan’s kitchen. 

“You’re staring at me funny,” Alfred said. “Sorry, should I go?”

Ivan bit his lower lip and looked away, not realizing that he had been staring.

“No, you’re fine. At least finish your drink.”

“Don’t want to overstay my welcome!”

“Of course not, it’s nice to have company now and then.”

Alfred grinned brightly. 

“Then you should take me ice skating with you next time!”

Ivan snorted and bumped Alfred lightly in the shoulder. Alfred didn’t flinch away, he never did. Instead he bumped Ivan’s shoulder with his own and continued his smile. That reaction was normal, although he sometimes only earned a frown or an irritated huff if Alfred was in a rotten mood. It was one of the few regular touches that Ivan allowed himself.

What was abnormal, however, was that Alfred didn’t pull back but instead leaned up against him to press their sides together. Ivan cleared his throat pointedly but Alfred stayed. He was warm and close and far too soft in Ivan’s oversized sweater. 

Ivan looked at him, searching his expression for an answer when Alfred went unusually quiet. Alfred’s smile had wilted slightly in unexplained confusion. He too seemed to be waiting for some sort of reaction. Ivan set down his drink on the counter and pulled in a slow breath through his clenched teeth. Even for Alfred, this was too much. Alfred pulled back with an anxious jolt. 

“Ah! Oh I’m sorry… I think, um,” his smile finally collapsed into an embarrassed grimace that he quickly hid behind his drink. “I think I misunderstood the… The thing. And stuff.”

“What?” 

Ivan leaned down to try to meet Alfred’s eyes but Alfred only shuffled further away. He looked down, noticing Alfred’s hands. His knuckles had gone white from clenching the mug. 

“No, it’s nothing,” Alfred mumbled with a shake of his head. “Um… just forget it. I think I… misheard what you said so I heard what I wanted to hear, you know?”

“No, I don’t know.”

“Whatever. Really don’t worry about it. Me being dumb.” 

Alfred sighed out a weak laugh that rolled into his drooped shoulders. He seemed to be trying to fall into his drink, curling over it in a way that prevented Ivan from seeing his face. Concerned and fairly certain he had made a large mistake, Ivan reached out to pat Alfred’s shoulder. That time Alfred visibly flinched away at the touch. Ivan’s throat burned with unexplained shame.

“Alfred, I’m— ”

“Stop, I’m fine.”

He met Ivan’s openly concerned gaze with an empty smile that said he was anything but fine. Ivan didn’t believe him. Alfred realized he wasn’t being very convincing and backed away until he hit the counter behind him. Chocolate spilled over the edge of his mug onto his hands but he didn’t seem to notice. Ivan watched it drip across his fingers. 

“I’m fine, Braginsky. Right as rain!” he laughed theatrically at the cliche. “You’re acting like Matty.”

“Hmm.”

“He worries a lot.”

“About?”

“Stuff. Things. Everything.”

Ivan resorted to his usual reaction to Alfred’s bombast, a quiet sigh and a hum. He turned around to find one of the towels they had been using so he could offer it to Alfred. The drink was no longer hot enough to burn, but melted chocolate was sticky. He blushed as he lingered on the thought. 

“Do you need a ride home?” Ivan asked.

“Nah, we’re pretty close to work and this rain can’t go on all night. I’ll just finish my drink and go get my car.”

Alfred paused looking down at his feet. 

“Unless you wanted me to leave now?” he asked quietly.

Ivan regretted his wording. He wanted things to be back to normal, but he didn’t want Alfred to leave. Taking a steadying breath he found a small, reasonably clean dish towel he could use and rinsed it quickly under cold water. He noticed Alfred’s matching blush when he handed it to him. The mug was set down with a solid clunk against the counter and Alfred scrubbed at his hands with short, jerking motions of his wrists. 

“Alfred, it’s-” 

“Don’t worry, I didn’t want to stay too long anyway. I have a lot of things to do at home and I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

Alfred was still wiping his hands but his eyes were on the sweater he was wearing. He had a feeling he was wasting Ivan’s time. The afternoon wasn’t going as he had planned or as he had expected. Alfred was embarrassed by his mistake.

“You can stay, I invited you over,” Ivan said. “And it wouldn’t be an inconvenience. I mean… we can watch a movie or…I have Netflix?”

“Netflix,” Alfred deadpanned.

Alfred was blushing again and Ivan wasn’t sure why.

“Alfred, you’re not overstaying your welcome.”

“You pretty much said that already.”

“But you didn’t believe me.”

Alfred paused and met his eyes. Ivan felt like all the blood in his body had sunk down to his toes. 

“I can drive you back to your car when the rain slows down,” he said in a voice that sounded distant to his own ears. “You can wait for your clothes to dry that way. I can make dinner or something…”

“Are you doing this on purpose?” Alfred asked.

“Doing what on purpose?”

Alfred shifted his weight from one foot to the other, rocking back and forth as he came to a decision. He was finished with the towel, but instead of handing it back to Ivan he walked over to where he stood beside the sink. As he had before, when they were making hot chocolate, Alfred leaned against Ivan as if it were the most natural thing in the world, resting his head on his shoulder. This time when Ivan flinched, Alfred didn’t pull back, he simply tossed the dishrag into the sink behind them.

“Then how about now?” Alfred asked.

Ivan turned away from him, facing the sink and gripping the edges of it tightly. He was starting to feel ill, a tight knot forming in his stomach, but mostly he was angry. Angry that Alfred wanted to play games like this. Angry that he was reacting to it. Angry that Alfred couldn’t even know why Ivan was angry. 

Alfred teasing Ivan was normal, but this was decidedly not. He had always kept it to work or school or sports, Alfred had never teased Ivan like this. 

“‘How about now’ what?” Ivan asked through gritted teeth.

He must have noticed that Ivan wasn’t reacting as expected, but instead of pulling back, Alfred just pushed closer. Ivan could feel Alfred breathing against him. His own breathing stuttered in surprise when he felt one of Alfred’s fingers on the inside of his wrist, gently coaxing him with smooth caresses into relaxing his grip on the sink.

“Am I overstaying my welcome?” Alfred clarified.

There was a hint of a smile in his voice.

“That depends,” Ivan said tightly.

“On what?”

“What are you doing?”

Alfred had the audacity to giggle under his breath. He let go of Ivan’s wrist, but didn’t leave. Ivan felt tugging at his arm closest to Alfred and watched him pull his hand from the sink so that he could squeeze underneath his arm. Apparently more comfortable in their pseudo-embrace, Alfred sighed and leaned his head against Ivan’s chest before wrapping both of his arms around his waist. 

“I’m wearing your clothing and standing in your kitchen,” Alfred replied with an amused lilt to his voice. “It should be obvious what I’m trying to do.”

Ivan’s breath hitched in his throat.

“I’m trying to get you to at least kiss me,” Alfred clarified. “Because I thought that’s where this was going when you invited me over and told me to change.”

He couldn’t speak. Ivan’s tongue felt too thick in his mouth and his thoughts were falling apart before he could collect them. Less than an hour ago they had been at work with Alfred grumbling about a meeting they both thought they had to attend. Ivan had chided him for trying to wear a superman tie under his lab coat until Alfred pulled a more respectable blue one out of his desk drawer for their presentation. Now Alfred had his face pressed to Ivan’s chest and was blushing in his arms. 

And this was a terrible idea. An awful idea. Ivan knew this. Having a casual fling with your coworker, whether both people were single or not, was the worst idea. Let alone someone he had always-

“Then you’re not,” Ivan heard himself say.

He forced his arm to relax, to hold Alfred more comfortably.

“I’m not? Not what?”

“You’re still not overstaying your welcome.”

Alfred pulled back his face from Ivan’s chest, looking up at his expression. Alfred was smiling.

“So is this what you invited me over for or was I overthinking things?”

“Overthinking things.”

But before Alfred could slide out of his arms in embarrassment, Ivan leaned down and pressed their lips together. After all, they had already gone too far for him to waste an opportunity now. He would worry about the inevitable fallout later. 

Because now, today, in his kitchen, Alfred was kissing him back. 

He had reached up and was already working his hands under Ivan’s scarf, under his collar to hold the back of his neck to keep him close. Ivan tightened his own grip around Alfred’s side and turned him, pinning him between himself and the counter. Alfred didn’t complain. His lips were pressing gently, repeatedly against Ivan’s mouth. The touches were fleeting, as if Alfred didn’t believe he wasn’t about to be pushed away. His affection was hesitant at first, soft lips brushing against Ivan’s for the briefest of seconds before pressing back once he knew Ivan wasn’t playing a cruel joke. 

Ivan wasn’t thinking. He had simply given up, finding it was the easiest way to get himself to relax. He wanted to relax, to appreciate the feel of Alfred in his arms. His lips were less hesitant than Alfred’s, pushing back insistently whenever Alfred pulled away. He didn’t want to waste any more time after waiting for so long. 

And if it was only a one-time thing, shouldn’t he enjoy it as much as he could?

So when Alfred finally parted his lips, Ivan was all too eager to bite gently at the soft pink curve of his lower lip just to listen to Alfred’s surprised catch of breath before slipping his tongue inside. 

Alfred was pushing up on his toes to meet Ivan’s mouth, his eyes firmly closed against embarrassment and common sense. Ivan could feel Alfred’s breath against his skin, shallow and quick as he played with his tongue. 

As Alfred kissed him, Ivan slipped one of his hands under the oversized sweater, running his fingers along rain-chilled sides. Soft skin and the gentle curve of Alfred’s ribs led him to his spine, where he touched hesitantly at Alfred’s lower back until a nervous exhale let him know he was still welcome. He slipped his hand lower.

Sensing Alfred was unsteady on his toes, Ivan slid his hands past the curve of his hips until he could cup his hands beneath him. Alfred broke the kiss and tightened his grip on Ivan in surprise as he was lifted off the ground and made to sit on the countertop.

“Why did you-”

“You seemed to like being eye-level,” Ivan said, amused now that he finally seemed to have the upper hand.

Alfred blushed but still wrapped his arms around Ivan’s shoulders, tugging him in between his legs so he could kiss him once more. He exhaled a small relieved laugh that filled Ivan’s stomach with butterflies.

“You should invite me over again sometime,” Alfred whispered against Ivan’s lips.

“Hmm.”

He liked the idea, but he also assumed Alfred was just talking to chatter away his nerves. Fill the silence so there was no room for anxiety. Ivan had seen him do the same countless times — before presentations, tests, and while running new projects. It was a sweet tone of familiarity that blended into the lovely new sounds he was making. Ivan tried to quell his excitement at the fact that Alfred’s words had sounded like a request for more. 

_A one time thing, this is a one time thing. We have to work together and I can’t —_

Alfred had tilted his face up to press his lips against Ivan’s. He was teasing and soft, tasting of sweet marshmallows as he parted his lips against the corner of Ivan’s mouth. 

“ _Will_ you invite me over again?”

Alfred was so close, Ivan could feel the words against his skin. So close, too close almost. Ivan tried to force himself back to rational thought, thinking of lab coats and numbers and rows of spreadsheets before he let himself fall off an imaginary cliff. Sensing the other’s hesitation, Alfred wrinkled his nose in amusement. 

“I’d like it if you did,” he said. “And I’m not letting you wiggle out of this like you always do. So please?”

He reached up with both hands to cup Ivan’s face, feathering light kisses across his lips as Ivan’s thoughts wandered to long held daydreams of waking up with Alfred in his bed. Of biting into the mouth that teased him so often and holding the hands he’d quietly admired through countless lessons and reports. They pulled at him until Ivan finally gave in and opened his mouth. 

“Yes.”

Alfred’s happy hum lilted into a giggle as he pressed his tongue between Ivan’s parted lips. He felt warm and excited, sliding against Ivan’s tongue before pulling back to explore his lips and teeth. His thumbs were brushing gentle circles into Ivan’s skin. In return, Ivan pulled him closer, thrilled by the perfect curve of Alfred’s spine as he arched up into him.

He leaned in closer, feeling his knees bang into the cabinets below but too distracted by Alfred’s tongue to be conscious of the pain. Alfred had wrapped his legs around his hips, holding him near before he could slip away again. Ivan’s breath felt too shallow and quick in his chest as he tried to remain quiet, straining to hear the soft sighs Alfred made as Ivan sucked at his lower lip. 

Ivan parted from the kiss to bury his face into the curve where Alfred’s neck met his shoulder. He was still wearing Ivan’s sweater, still too large and slipping its way lower. Ivan slid his lips against the exposed skin he had only ever seen by chance, when he had peered over at the right moment when Alfred lifted his shirt to wipe his face or when a spring breeze pushed back his collar. He liked the way Alfred smelled, earthy and clean, the new scents mixing with his familiar detergent from the sweater. 

Alfred curled into him at the attention, running his nails up the back of Ivan’s neck to twist his fingers into his hair. He tugged with a quick gasp when Ivan bit sharply into his neck, bruising a possessive mark but not hard enough to draw blood. Ivan pressed a kiss to the already reddening skin, looking up to catch the curve of Alfred’s open mouth. His cheeks were flushed in a way that Ivan had only imagined. 

Alfred was pushing his hips into him, incessant and anxious. He seemed rushed, concerned that Ivan would leave again despite his teasing that had feigned confidence. His hockey sweater was getting pushed up between them, exposing more of Alfred’s skin to Ivan’s hands and eyes. Also because of his movements, Alfred’s hardening erection was becoming rather obvious. Ivan pressed a kiss to one of his flushed cheeks in delight. He realized belatedly that Alfred looked younger without his glasses.

“It’s still cold,” he said and Alfred furrowed his brow. “Do you want to keep the sweater on?”

“Your sweater? I—wait, what?”

“I want to do more than kiss you.”

He slid one of his hands in the narrow space between their chests before slipping down and tapping his fingers pointedly against the waistband of Alfred’s sweatpants.

“Unless that’s all you wanted?” he pulled his hand back from Alfred abruptly to watch him stutter. 

“No, you can--we can do a little more.”

Ivan smiled, resting his hands on either side of Alfred’s thighs on the countertop. 

“How much is ‘a little more?’”

Alfred clenched his hands in his lap, twisting his fingers anxiously. 

“Well, ah… Do you have stuff?” he asked softly. 

Ivan looked down at Alfred’s lap and filled in what “stuff” meant. 

“Not in the kitchen. Wait here.”

“You want me to wait here? On the countertop?”

Alfred looked up at Ivan with an amused expression but his cheeks were still flushed pink.

“Yes.”

Ivan pressed a calm kiss to Alfred’s forehead before rushing away to the bathroom. He had condoms in one of the drawers and some sort of lubricant, if he was remembering correctly. He would have pulled Alfred along with him but he needed at least a few seconds to catch his breath and pinch himself.

He moved as quickly as he could, yanking open the drawers where he thought he had thrown the small convenience store bag and scraping through their contents. Of course it was in the last drawer he would have thought it was in, pushed all the way to the back from lack of use. Ivan glanced up at the mirror, blinking at his flushed expression and kiss-red lips before scrubbing his face with his hands. He took a deep breath and tried to look as calm as possible when walking back to the kitchen. 

Impossibly, Alfred was where he had left him. He was still perched on the edge of the counter, touching idly at his lips with his fingers with a faraway look in his eyes. He wore a familiar expression, the same one Ivan had seen in his reflection in the mirror. Alfred looked up and smiled brightly when he realized Ivan had returned. 

“I was trying to think of what to do if you didn’t come back,” he said.

“Did it involve taking my sweater?”

“Oh yeah, it’s pretty comfy. And I was thinking I’d need to take something hostage to get you to talk to me again.”

Alfred reached out and waved his fingers in a way that meant “come closer.” Despite his feigned confidence, his grin was wilting at the edges, betraying his nerves. Ivan complied, setting the plastic bag next to Alfred’s hip before returning his hands to his sides. 

“What would you even do with it?” Ivan asked. “It’s too big on you.”

“Sleep in it?”

Ivan leaned in before he could let his mind linger on that thought, skimming nervous warm fingers along Alfred’s side to feel the goosebumps that matched his own anxieties. His skin tingled everywhere it came into contact with Alfred. His Alfred. Always his Alfred. The blond tilted forward to press his lips back to Ivan’s, instigating contact in a way that made Ivan’s breath flutter in his lungs. His own hands froze as he felt Alfred’s reaching towards his sweater, tugging at it gently until Ivan understood what he wanted.

He broke their kiss reluctantly to let Alfred pull his shirt over his head then tug his scarf from his throat. Alfred trailed his fingers along Ivan’s collarbone only to return to the same sensitive curves with his lips. A sharp intake of breath against his neck made Ivan realize he had unwittingly dug his nails into Alfred’s sides at the sensation, clutching him tightly closer. 

“Ah! I’m sorry, I—”

Alfred smothered his responding giggle against Ivan’s cheek. 

“It’s fine,” he could hear Alfred’s smile in the words. “But I’m pretty sure you promised me more than kissing?”

Alfred spread his legs a little wider to loosely hook his knees around Ivan’s waist. Ivan snorted at the tease but obliged, sliding his hands lower to rub circles into Alfred’s hips with his thumbs. Alfred kept his lips against Ivan, feathering kisses along his jawline and the smooth hollow behind his ear before biting gently at Ivan’s neck in a way that made warm tingles dance down his spine. 

Ivan moved his hands back to Alfred’s thighs, pinching and teasing gently with his fingers until Alfred lifted his hips from the counter, allowing Ivan to slide off his pants. Alfred pulled in a sharp breath through his teeth as Ivan skimmed his fingertips up the inside of his leg before palming his erection through his boxers. He touched him hesitantly at first, waiting for Alfred to push back against his hand before moving. He slid his fingers up his length, feeling how the fabric of his boxers already felt damp with pre-cum where they brushed against the head. 

Closing his eyes tightly, Ivan forced himself to hold back an aroused shudder, leaning against the cabinets to hide his own erection. Alfred was holding onto him, resting his arms atop Ivan’s shoulders as he muffled his sighs against his neck. His breath tickled against Ivan’s skin. 

He was thankful Alfred hadn’t asked why he had lubricant and condoms. They had been a recent purchase, one of Ivan’s pent up arguments with himself over waiting for a man who apparently wouldn’t ever return his affections. The dates had gone as he had expected, short and awkward as he compared the people across the table to the man who was now in his arms. 

Alfred had moved one of his arms lower, sneaking it down and under Ivan’s shirt to touch at his stomach. He laughed quietly when he realized he could go no lower because of Ivan’s position against the counter.

“No fair,” Alfred said. “I can’t touch you back.”

Ivan grumbled and only tugged at Alfred’s underwear, yanking them off in one hurried move while bracing Alfred with a grip on his shoulder. Alfred grimaced at the feel of the cold stone countertop against his bare skin. He hooked his arms around Ivan’s neck, spreading his legs at Ivan’s urging. His breath was warm and his skin was hot. 

Ivan was pushing himself against the edge of the counter, grinding his still clothed erection against the granite for desperately needed friction. He still had his free arm around Alfred’s back, clawing his nails into the back of his sweater. It was still pushed up between them, exposing Alfred’s stomach. His muscles were taut from holding himself up for Ivan’s fingers but a visible softness around his hips betrayed his affection for late night snacks and sweets. 

_Cute._

Ivan smiled to himself. Alfred’s soft laughter cut off abruptly as Ivan grabbed his length, stroking languidly as he enjoyed the flutter of Alfred’s lashes against his cheek. He frowned as his hand caught against the hem of the sweater Alfred was wearing, it was slipping back down between them.

Using his free hand, Ivan tugged the hem of the shirt higher, holding it up to Alfred’s cheek.

“Hold this,” he said, implying Alfred should take it in one of his hands. 

Alfred laughed again, the tone light with amusement and arousal. 

“You don’t want me to take it off?”

“No.”

Alfred leaned back with a smile before pressing his lips against Ivan’s hand. Instead of taking it in his hand, however, Alfred bit the hem of the shirt between his teeth and slid his hands down Ivan’s back. Ivan bit at his lower lip, hoping to cut off a blush. 

With the shirt out of the way, Ivan realized he had more to touch. More skin and more Alfred for his hands. He resumed his stroking at Alfred’s cock, matching the smooth pace of the circles Alfred was drawing on his back with his fingertips. He used his free hand to touch at Alfred’s soft stomach and was amused by the muffled giggle that earned him. Ivan reached up, caressing Alfred’s chest to watch him arch his spine before ducking down to take a nipple between his teeth. Alfred groaned softly before thrusting his hips involuntarily off the counter to meet Ivan’s hand. 

Ivan was trying to remember to breathe. He was too distracted by the sounds Alfred was making, the sweet sighs barely muffled by the cloth between his lips, and the feel and taste of his skin. Without warning Alfred pinched the soft skin at Ivan’s lower back, using Ivan’s surprised twitch to finally snake one of his hands between Ivan’s hips and the counter.

Alfred hummed in satisfaction when he made it to the waistband of Ivan’s pants, shoving them down in an eager rush. Ivan kicked them away as they fell to his ankles. Alfred took Ivan’s cock in both hands as Ivan stroked him in return, sighing appreciatively when he finally felt his arousal. Ivan groaned at Alfred’s touch. Curious fingers trailed along his length, before squeezing gently at the base. Ivan felt his skin burning at Alfred’s appreciative giggle when he slid back up to run the tip of his fingers through the pre-cum that had slicked across the head.

Ivan moved his lips to Alfred’s neck, kissing and nibbling at the smooth sensitive skin to relax Alfred’s stiff shoulders. Once he could feel Alfred’s tension melting like softened butter beneath his fingers, he reached out and pulled him flush to the edge of the counter. He could hear Alfred’s sharp intake of breath in surprise but the shirt between his teeth prevented him from speaking. 

The silence was oddly arousing. Because he couldn’t speak, Alfred was reduced to soft sighs and moans that rolled against Ivan’s skin. Even in the cool air of his kitchen, Ivan felt his skin burn. 

Taking advantage of their new positions, Ivan pressed their cocks together. He caught one of Alfred’s hands before it slipped away and threaded their fingers together to stroke in unison. Alfred pressed up against him, his breathing sharp with every push of their fingers. He was rocking his hips in time with the rhythm Ivan set, pushing himself into Ivan’s touch. 

“Good?” Ivan asked, the word almost catching in the tightness of his throat. 

He felt Alfred nod against him. It was unclear if he was still holding the sweater in his mouth just because Ivan had told him to, or if he was using it to muffle his groans. Ivan enjoyed both options. Alfred had tucked his other hand under Ivan’s arm and around his upper back, holding onto him as he pressed his face into his chest. 

Ivan moved their hands more quickly, tightening his grip to increase the sensation. His body ached, but instead of the ache of longing, it was one of needing release. A part of him wanted to watch them reach completion together in his hands, to watch Alfred spill across his fingers and collapse in his arms. But Ivan also knew he wanted more. 

So he let go. 

Alfred squeaked and gasped, letting go of the hem of the sweater with his mouth so it fell back across his skin. Ivan leaned back just far enough to look at his face, to see the distant look in his eyes from his arousal and the sweet curve of his open lips. 

“It was--” Alfred cut himself off as Ivan’s fingers running up his thigh made him shiver. “ _Ivan_ , it was good. Why did you stop?”

“I want to try more,” he replied, surprised by the calm tone of his voice.

His heart was beating so quickly he thought it would fall out of his chest. He was certain Alfred could tell, could hear his heartbeat from where he leaned against him. But Alfred only looked at him with a soft smile before turning away, looking instead at the bag Ivan had set beside him.

“Ah,” he said with an amused tone to his voice. “Okay.”

Before Ivan could catch his hands again, Alfred had let go to tear open the bag. He hooked his legs back around Ivan’s hips to prevent him from escaping. When Ivan had gone shopping on a whim, he had come back with multiple options. So as Alfred decided whether he wanted a lubricant that tingled, warmed, or tasted like strawberries, Ivan touched him. He pressed his fingers into the soft curve where Alfred’s hip smoothed down into thigh and palmed the smooth skin that looked tan even in winter when compared to his own. He calmly squeezed the flesh in his hands as Alfred held a purple capped bottle up to his face.

“This one.”

Ivan hummed and let go of one of Alfred’s legs, not trusting his words to be coherent at this point. He was trying to push concerns out of his mind, concerns for tomorrow, concerns for next week, concerns for even an hour after Alfred had inevitably left. Because now Alfred was uncapping the bottle to pour lubricant into Ivan’s open palm so he could slip his fingers between his legs. 

Alfred set the bottle beside him and spread his legs wider, letting go of his hold on Ivan. He leaned his head back but lowered his eyes, watching Ivan’s hands beneath his eyelashes. Ivan kept his dry palm pressed to Alfred’s thigh, appreciating the comforting heat under his hand. Back in another day, another time, he had dreamed of pressing his cock between Alfred’s thighs as he held them tightly together. But now Alfred was pushing the sweater he had stolen from Ivan back up his stomach to draw gentle swirls in his skin as he watched Ivan touch him.

Ivan slipped his first lubricated finger between Alfred’s spread legs and took a secret thrill in watching the other’s shiver at the cold slickness against his inner thighs. 

“Comfortable?” he asked. 

A sharp gasp was his only reply as he pushed his finger in slowly. Alfred was tight and warm and strangely familiar. It wasn’t as if they had tried this before, but the way his fingers looped around the back of Ivan’s neck and his face pressed against his chest fit too perfectly with how Ivan had imagined for it to not seem familiar. He pressed his mouth against Alfred’s, taking a thrill in how quickly Alfred’s lips parted for him. Alfred rocked against his finger to try to help him find the right angle as Ivan’s tongue pressed against his own.

He was tight. Ivan clenched his teeth around a groan as he pushed into him, excited by the realization that Alfred felt just as he had fantasized. Alfred pulled back from the kiss to cover his mouth with his hand, muffling his own sighs as Ivan stretched him. His whole body was flushed beneath Ivan’s hands, a warm pink blush bleeding under his skin.

Ivan watched Alfred’s chest heave under a labored breath before he let his head fall back, resting it against the cabinets behind him. 

“Okay?” Ivan asked.

Alfred nodded and pressed the knuckle of his index finger between his slack lips, biting down on a wanton groan as Ivan pushed deeper. 

Alfred shuddered suddenly when Ivan hit the right spot, jerking his head back only to crack it against the kitchen cabinets. Ivan dragged in a sharp panicked breath and pulled back his hand.

“No,” Alfred mumbled. “No, no, don’t stop. That— that was me. You’re okay just keep—”

Ivan had pressed his clean hand to the side of Alfred’s head. 

“Should we go to—”

“No, no more waiting. Do it now just, please - Oh!”

Ivan pushed his fingers back between Alfred’s legs but caught his head just in time before he hit the cabinet again. He added more lubricant before trying the second finger, forcing himself to breathe steadily as he realized how tight Alfred still felt around him. He felt his heart clench tightly in sudden concern. 

“You have done this before, correct?” Ivan asked.

“Yeah, duh. I mean, not recently…”

“With a man?”

He watched Alfred’s lashes flutter as he stared downwards, choosing to look at Ivan’s chest rather than meet his eyes. Ivan could actually only remember one other man that Alfred might have dated in the years he had been by his side. 

“Once or twice.” 

“So I will not be your first?”

“Ah… Well you don’t have to say it that way.”

Ivan leaned forward against the countertop, pressing his erection against Alfred’s thigh, watching as Alfred’s blush worsened. He listened to the blond ramble about implications and assumptions until he finally got to what Ivan wanted to hear. 

“Besides we only ever did it the other way around so excuse me if I’m not used to a guy shoving his dick up my—”

“So I _will_ be your first.”

“Well, technically I guess. If you want to think of it that way.”

“I do.”

Alfred covered his face again as Ivan smiled to himself in satisfaction. He slid his fingers back in, moving gently but pressing in at Alfred’s favorite angle to hear him groan. Once Alfred had seemed to relax, he moved them at a steady pace, slipping them in and out from between Alfred’s legs to watch him twist and arch in his hands. 

“I’m fine,” Alfred mumbled behind his hand. “I can- You can do more.”

“More?” 

Ivan smiled as Alfred wrinkled his nose at the tease.

“More than just, just your fingers.”

Alfred reached out, running warm hands up Ivan’s bare arms. Ivan’s skin felt even hotter where he touched, exploring the dips and curves of his muscles. Ivan’s rhythm faltered as Alfred’s fingers grazed his throat but Alfred only looked at him and frowned.

“Hurry up,” he said impatiently, rocking his hips up off the counter again to prove his point.

Ivan laughed and leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to Alfred’s cheek. Kissing _his_ Alfred. Because even if this really was a one time thing, even if Alfred hadn’t longed for Ivan with the same ache that he had for him, Ivan had no intention of letting Alfred go. 

He moved his hands to Alfred’s hips, tugging him back to the edge of the counter. Alfred stared at him until he understood what he was doing, his lips curling up into a smile as he slid off the countertop. He turned away from Ivan, leaning his chest against the counter as he spread his legs, exposing himself to Ivan’s touch. 

“I thought the ribbed condoms looked nice,” Alfred said cheerfully. 

Ivan grabbed one out of the bag, ripping open the foil and unrolling it over the heavy curve of his cock. Alfred folded his arms in front of him and pressed his face into them, hiding his expression. But despite his feigned confidence, Ivan could still hear his nervous giggle as he gripped his hip with one of his hands. 

For good measure, he stroked his cock with a lubricant smeared hand, before letting go and slipping a finger back inside Alfred. Alfred twitched in surprise at the quick penetration, a shiver traveling up his back to his neck. 

“You’re ready?” Ivan asked.

Alfred turned his face to look at him with a smile. It was one of Ivan’s favorite smiles for its rarity. Normally he grinned or beamed or flashed his teeth, but the gentle upward sweep of Alfred’s lips was one that Ivan considered his. He savored the pretty sigh that fell from Alfred’s mouth as he pushed himself inside. 

Ivan moved slowly, enjoying the feeling as he pushed into Alfred for the first time. He could see Alfred’s back tense up before he exhaled, relaxing back against the countertop once Ivan was fully inside. He was as tight as Ivan thought he would be, as tight as he was around his fingers. Ivan released the breath he had forgotten he was holding, noticing the aching clench of his jaw and twist in his stomach as his desire urged him to move faster. 

He settled both of his hands at Alfred’s soft hips as he slowly pulled back out, staring at how Alfred’s body responded to his touch. With a quick thrust, Ivan pushed himself back inside and listened to Alfred’s unchecked cry. Alfred felt as perfect as Ivan had thought he would be — so oddly familiar and right that he was afraid he had gotten stuck in another daydream before Alfred pushing back into him brought him back to solid ground. 

And Alfred didn’t tell him to stop. He quickened his pace, watching Alfred rock his hips back to meet him once he had a stable rhythm. Ivan almost wished they had picked a different position, just so he could watch Alfred’s eyes close as his lips parted around the shameless moans he was no longer trying to hold back. But this was also perfect, seeing Alfred open for him, and only him, with nothing held back.

Ivan leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the back of Alfred’s shoulder where the sweater had again slipped down. He had decided he was going to make Alfred take it with him when he left, just so he could think of him sleeping in it, the fabric hiding the skin Ivan had caressed and kissed and claimed as his own. He ran his teeth along Alfred’s shoulder as he thrust into him before sliding back to leave small love-bites that would linger long after he had left for home. 

Alfred’s sighs had softened into sounds that Ivan recognized as his name, broken over Alfred’s lips and tongue. He moved one of his hands from Alfred’s hip to touch him, closing his fingers around his erection to stroke in time with his thrusts. 

“Ivan, that’s...”

Alfred didn’t finish his sentence, choosing instead to catch Ivan’s hand in his own and lace their fingers together once more. Ivan relaxed more of his weight onto him as his knees started to feel weak. Alfred didn’t protest and instead arched his back up into him to have as much contact as possible. 

Loose fingers slick with pre-cum and lubricant slipped away from Ivan’s as Alfred touched himself to match Ivan’s motions. Ivan nuzzled his face into the curve of Alfred’s neck and shoulder, breathing into the warm skin that smelled so familiar. Finally Ivan struck Alfred’s prostate, causing Alfred to shudder beneath him. He kept the angle for the next thrusts, listening to Alfred’s hurried whispers of his name that kept being cut off by his pleasured moans.

Ivan’s breathing was becoming erratic as his body burned for release. He wanted to last but was already at his limit. His rhythm became disjointed as he thrust into Alfred, gripping tightly at his erection to bring him to completion. 

With a cry of relief, Alfred spilled over their fingers, turning his head so he could crush his lips against Ivan’s in a final kiss. Ivan happily returned it, pressing into Alfred’s mouth as he felt himself pour over the edge to meet him. Ivan slumped into him, smiling to himself as Alfred broke their kiss for a breathy laugh. 

He waited as long as he could, but Alfred eventually shifted beneath him, indicating that he was uncomfortable being pinned to the countertop. Ivan pulled back but gathered Alfred to his chest before he could slip away. Warm hands settled against his chest as Alfred leaned into his arms. They breathed quietly for a few minutes before Alfred broke the silence.

“See?” Alfred said quietly. “That was fun. You should definitely invite me over again now.”

Ivan was thankful Alfred couldn’t see his face because he closed his eyes in regret as reality flooded back to him. They weren’t dating. Alfred was only his for the afternoon, and even then, he wasn’t _really_ Ivan’s. He was only a fling, a casual moment after work when Alfred had misunderstood his invitation. 

For once, he prayed he was wrong. Hoping there would be a next time so he could reach out, just to touch Alfred’s arm or hand when he needed it most. 

“ _Ivan_ , you promised.”

“I did,” he said quietly.

“Are you… going to avoid me at work or…”

“No.”

“Oh… Oh that’s a relief,” Alfred laughed. “Does this mean we’re… Well does this mean we’re, you know?”

Ivan reached up to stroke Alfred’s hair until he pulled his head back from his chest. 

“We’re what?” Ivan asked.

“Dating?”

“What?”

Alfred looked at Ivan in horror when he didn’t immediately agree to the idea. He tried to pull away, pressing his hands firmly against Ivan’s chest to try to break free from his arms. Instead, Ivan’s hold only tightened as he watched Alfred’s blush return and his eyes well up with tears in a panic.

“I’m sorry! I thought you understood what I meant!” Alfred said hurriedly. 

He was still pushing at Ivan’s chest, only now he was hitting him with the palms of his hands. Ivan grimaced as he thought about what Alfred had just said.

“You want us to date?” Ivan asked, his voice soft with confusion.

“I thought you liked me! I thought that’s why you invited me over! So I said yes because I liked you too. Now I’m an idiot and I need a new job,” Alfred’s tears were starting to spill down his cheeks as he rambled. “And it’s your stupid fault! I asked you out all the time and you always said no and I even got this stupid job to be near you but you always leave work without me and I hate that and you’re such a-”

Ivan calmly pressed his lips to Alfred’s forehead to get him to stop, knowing if he said anything it would only be drowned out by his ramble. He then kissed lower, touching his lips to _his_ Alfred’s cheeks to brush away the embarrassed tears. 

“I do like you,” he said calmly. 

“ _Like_ like or just like.”

“The ‘I want to take you out to dinner’ like,” he replied.

“Oh!” Alfred said. “Now?”

Ivan was suddenly reminded that he was standing in his kitchen, quite sticky and very much undressed. Alfred looked nearly the same. He laughed against Alfred’s damp cheek and wondered if their now-very-cold hot chocolate was still salvageable. 

But it was alright, because Alfred had stopped hitting him and was now relaxing back into his arms. 

“I would like that,” Ivan admitted. “But let’s shower first, yes?”

_Be mine._


End file.
